Is Technology Right for Your Loved Ones?

How one family's midnight call led to peace of mind through technology

It was 2:37 AM when Sarah's phone lit up with her mother's number. Like many adult children with aging parents, her heart stopped for a moment before answering. The voice on the other end was shaky but trying to sound calm: "Sarah, I've fallen. I'm okay, but I've been on the floor for a few hours. I didn't want to bother anyone..."

That call changed everything for Sarah's family. Her mother, Patricia, had always been fiercely independent. A retired teacher who still volunteered at the local library, she lived alone in the family home and took pride in managing everything herself. The fall wasn't severe – a bruised hip and wounded pride – but it revealed a painful truth: independence without support is a dangerous combination.

"Looking back," Sarah says, "there were signs we'd been ignoring. Scorch marks on pots from forgotten stoves. Missed medication doses. Mail piling up. We were so focused on respecting Mom's independence that we missed opportunities to protect it through support."

The Hidden Struggles We All Face

Does this sound familiar? That constant worry in the back of your mind about Mom or Dad? You're not alone. Like so many of us, you're probably juggling a career, maybe kids, and now growing concerns about your aging parents. Welcome to the "sandwich generation".

Let's talk about what's really keeping you up at night. You know that feeling when you're sitting at your desk, trying to focus on a work presentation, but you can't stop wondering: "Did Mom eat today? Is Dad taking his heart medication? Did they leave the door unlocked again?" When you are a long-distance caregiver, these worries can become almost constant.

Then there's the family dynamic piece. Remember those childhood roles and disagreements? They have a funny way of resurfacing now. Maybe your sister thinks Mom needs round-the-clock care while your brother insists she's "totally fine on her own." Finding middle ground can feel like navigating a minefield of old family patterns.

The financial issue? That's another story altogether. Whether you're looking at in-home care or considering assisted living, the costs can be surprising. There are ways to help stretch the caregiving budget.

But perhaps the toughest part is having "the talk" with your parents. You know the one – where you try to suggest some help or changes. If you've heard "I'm fine, I don't need any help!" you're not alone. Our parents' generation sees independence as a badge of honor, and accepting help can feel like surrendering that badge.

Panic Mode

Has this ever happened to you? Your Mom has a fall or another concern and the panic sets it. You or your sister are besides yourself with not knowing how to keep her safe.

Here's what usually happens next (and trust me, I've seen this happen more often than not). In that rush of worry and desire to "fix" everything, we go into "Emergency Shopping Mode." We're buying every gadget we can find. A medical alert pendant that sits on the nightstand. A handheld Solitaire game to keep mom offline. Or a smart home system so complicated the grandkids can’t even help.

Sound familiar? Don't worry – you're not alone.

First, there's the "Amazon Prime Panic" – this is when you click 'Buy Now' on every gadget that promises to help. But the problem is that throwing technology at a problem without really understanding it is like trying to fix a leaky toilet by buying every tool in Home Depot. Sometimes you just need the right wrench!

Then there's the "Any Tech is Good Tech" myth. This is thinking that as long as we're doing something, it must be helping. But imagine handing your grandparent a spacecraft control panel when all they needed was a simple light switch. Not exactly helpful.

And finally, there’s the "Family Hot Potato." Imagine that you buy a smart home system, but nobody knows who's supposed to set it up. Your brother thinks your sister is handling it, your sister thought mom's neighbor would help, and meanwhile, the system is sitting in its box, collecting dust.

The good news? (Because yes, there's good news!) There's a better way to do this. A way that doesn't involve panic-buying or family feuds over who's going to program the new thermostat.

Introducing a Better Way: The Family Technology Assessment Guide

I developed a guide called “Is Technology Right for Your Loved One” to help families make informed decisions about age tech for their loved ones. Hopefully, the Guide will help with the overwhelming task of choosing and implementing technology into a manageable, step-by-step process that brings families together rather than adding stress to an already challenging situation.

Please feel free to download and share. Contact me with any questions you may have.